The life of a starlet

It’s not so sparkly as one would think. Today we met on set to shoot our first ever video where of course tea is the main attraction. In several shots, I held the spoon scooping loose tea into a bowl, lamenting of course that the nail polish on my right hand was chipping. Working on set at a video shoot is no big deal to me anymore. After the about.com pieces from last year, I feel as though they initiated me by hell fire into the world of film, making it now somewhat old hat. I was reminded again of why I wouldn’t want to be a starlet.

#1: They are on their feet ALL stinking day long and even in my comfiest tennis shoes, my feet were aching once we wrapped.

#2: “That’s good. Now let’s do it again but turn a little to the left. A little more. Good.” Okay, seriously, the amount of repetition required to get a perfect scene can be staggering. With tea, we sometimes had around four takes and you can imagine what it’s like once a human enters the film’s frame. So unless you have a proclivity for memorizing lines and being able to self-correct a bajillion times, this may not be the gig for you.

#3: Working through lunch means pizza. I cannot fathom day after day of pizza and no resting during the middle of the day. I’m so spoiled.

#4: Call at 6:30 a.m. Okay, so while I didn’t have to be there until 9:30 a.m., the crew arrived nice and early to prep the set and get the lighting mounted. While I was still in some REM-induced la-la land, they were already hard at work.

I am reminded how long it takes to get one simple scene wrapped that is only 30 seconds in length. I think, if anything this increases my appreciation for full length movies and really ALL the WORK that goes into them. K and I saw “The Life Before Her Eyes” this past weekend and I was struck with the incredible camera work done throughout the movie and the editing that was pretty seamless as “Diana” toggles back and forth between present and past. In the film’s thank you’s, they actually thanked the Hubbles, which is the cause for the inquisitively tight shots in the opening credits. I felt like a bee violating the Brown Eyed Susans…

Today, a few of the scenes we shot reminded me of Borges with his love of the labyrinth and building mirrors inside of mirrors. That was a cool moment in which I internally geeked out because no one else would have given a flip over “some guy” named Borges. While the cross-pollenization is pretty fabulous, as for me I will stick with poetry.

Life uncut: Earth Day

Earth Day. Somehow I am dressed in all black. We’ll say workout clothing. Rubbing sleep out of my eyes, I rush off to the car, feeling like I’m running late. Engine started, doors shut, I am about to pull away from the curb when I see the largest bug with stilted legs flying along the edge of the front window. And it’s inside. No good.

I love nature being in nature. And so, I open both windows, trying to persuade the mammoth bug to fly out. But no, it has perched and is pondering my steering wheel from on high. This means driving with the windows down all the way to Mill Valley. Mammoth bug pulls in the wings and flattens himself along the curve of the visor, not intending to go anywhere, while the wind whips through the hair on my head. In the parking lot of the Safeway, I have pulled over for the confrontation.

It’s Earth Day, day to salute the earth by giving it a high five, not day to kills mammoth bugs. So with tennis shoe in hand I am waving it around the periphery of MB and it has finally begun to consider its options. Still frantic around the front window, it has begun to hide in the corners of the dashboard. With both windows open and driver’s door open, he is married to the dashboard. How to convince?? A woman climbs into her car with groceries in hand, she smiles and then begins laughing with me as if she understands. I’ve lost perhaps 10 minutes of time on the way to work. I decide to up the ante and MB immediately flies outside perhaps with maimed leg.

Not a great way to start Earth Day, but thank God for my eco-curlicue lights- that should count for something!

a poem, tonight

I dedicate this poetry shout-out to 3rd semester students at NEC- go get ‘em and write on with your theses!

Vocabulary of Dearness
by Naomi Shihab Nye

How a single word
may shimmer and rise
off the page, a wafer of
syllabic light, a bulb
of glowing meaning,
whatever the word,
try “tempestuous” or “suffer,”
any word you have held
or traded so it lives a new life
the size of two worlds.
Say you carried it
up a hill and it helped you
move. Without this
the days would be thin sticks
thrown down in a clutter of leaves,
and where is the rake?

Inside / outside

I have been mulling over the idea of “inside / outside” and how people interpret that into their lives. Is the fusion of the two kind of a working model for our lives? How does what’s inside effectively play itself into the who we are on the outside?

This may be a horrible admission to make but I am coming to believe that there are many angles to truth. There is the black and white, I get that, but then there is the expansion, such as how to best answer the question, “what did you do this evening?” If I respond I ate dinner or I went to the Legion of Honor to hear a string quartet play, both are true. But really, when someone asks the question they don’t want a minute by minute breakdown of your evening. And so you give them the piece of truth that pertains to what you think they most would be interested in. Or not. Let me know if you disagree. I welcome your thoughts, either in favor or contrary to the ones posed above. Cheers.

News 101

Have you heard about this? Read below for the latest revealing of deeds done in darkness brought into the light. My Dutch friend Dirk said it best, “China could learn a lot from us right now on human rights. We are torturing, waterboarding and coercing all in secret. I didn’t become an American citizen for this.”

Cheney, Others OK’d Harsh Interrogations
By LARA JAKES JORDAN and PAMELA HESS, Associated Press Writer

Thursday, April 10, 2008

(04-10) 19:03 PDT WASHINGTON (AP) –

Bush administration officials from Vice President Dick Cheney on down signed off on using harsh interrogation techniques against suspected terrorists after asking the Justice Department to endorse their legality, The Associated Press has learned.

The officials also took care to insulate President Bush from a series of meetings where CIA interrogation methods, including waterboarding, which simulates drowning, were discussed and ultimately approved.

A former senior U.S. intelligence official familiar with the meetings described them Thursday to the AP to confirm details first reported by ABC News on Wednesday. The intelligence official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to publicly discuss the issue.

Between 2002 and 2003, the Justice Department issued several memos from its Office of Legal Counsel that justified using the interrogation tactics, including ones that critics call torture.

“If you looked at the timing of the meetings and the memos you’d see a correlation,” the former intelligence official said. Those who attended the dozens of meetings agreed that “there’d need to be a legal opinion on the legality of these tactics” before using them on al-Qaida detainees, the former official said.

The meetings were held in the White House Situation Room in the years immediately following the Sept. 11 attacks. Attending the sessions were Cheney, then-Bush aides Attorney General John Ashcroft, Secretary of State Colin Powell, CIA Director George Tenet and national security adviser Condoleezza Rice.

The White House, Justice and State departments and the CIA refused comment Thursday, as did a spokesman for Tenet. A message for Ashcroft was not immediately returned.

Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass., lambasted what he described as “yet another astonishing disclosure about the Bush administration and its use of torture.”

“Who would have thought that in the United States of America in the 21st century, the top officials of the executive branch would routinely gather in the White House to approve torture?” Kennedy said in a statement. “Long after President Bush has left office, our country will continue to pay the price for his administration’s renegade repudiation of the rule of law and fundamental human rights.”

The American Civil Liberties Union called on Congress to investigate.

“With each new revelation, it is beginning to look like the torture operation was managed and directed out of the White House,” ACLU legislative director Caroline Fredrickson said. “This is what we suspected all along.”

The former intelligence official described Cheney and the top national security officials as deeply immersed in developing the CIA’s interrogation program during months of discussions over which methods should be used and when.

At times, CIA officers would demonstrate some of the tactics, or at least detail how they worked, to make sure the small group of “principals” fully understood what the al-Qaida detainees would undergo. The principals eventually authorized physical abuse such as slaps and pushes, sleep deprivation, or waterboarding. This technique involves strapping a person down and pouring water over his cloth-covered face to create the sensation of drowning.

The small group then asked the Justice Department to examine whether using the interrogation methods would break domestic or international laws.

“No one at the agency wanted to operate under a notion of winks and nods and assumptions that everyone understood what was being talked about,” said a second former senior intelligence official. “People wanted to be assured that everything that was conducted was understood and approved by the folks in the chain of command.”

The Office of Legal Counsel issued at least two opinions on interrogation methods.

In one, dated Aug. 1, 2002, then-Assistant Attorney General Jay Bybee defined torture as covering “only extreme acts” causing pain similar in intensity to that caused by death or organ failure. A second, dated March 14, 2003, justified using harsh tactics on detainees held overseas so long as military interrogators did not specifically intend to torture their captives.

Both legal opinions since have been withdrawn.

The second former senior intelligence official said rescinding the memos caused the CIA to seek even more detailed approvals for the interrogations.

The department issued another still-secret memo in October 2001 that, in part, sought to outline novel ways the military could be used domestically to defend the country in the face of an impending attack. The Justice Department so far has refused to release it, citing attorney-client privilege, and Attorney General Michael Mukasey declined to describe it Thursday at a Senate panel where Democrats characterized it as a “torture memo.”

Not all of the principals who attended were fully comfortable with the White House meetings.

The ABC News report portrayed Ashcroft as troubled by the discussions, despite agreeing that the interrogations methods were legal.

“Why are we talking about this in the White House?” the network quoted Ashcroft as saying during one meeting. “History will not judge this kindly.”

___

Associated Press writer Pete Yost contributed to this report.

Quickfire Challenge

I must admit it took me a little while to get into “Top Chef.” All the ingredients are right, but I had just come off of my “Project Runway” semester and didn’t know if I immediately wanted to select Bravo a second time in a row for my one TV show per semester. Tonight clinched the deal.

My friend Jo Jo called me on Skype from China and in the span of two commercial minutes I was able to bring him up to speed on the current quickfire challenge. Each of the contestants was blindfolded and given 10 or 20 seconds to taste a lo-fi item next to hi-fi and deduce which was the more expensive item. By looking at the olive oils, you can see immediately the color differentiation, the texture of rich pricy butter contrasted against cheap. But here they had to go with the tastebuds and guess. Jo Jo and I share this in common. He, being a classically trained chef who consulted on a restaurant opening in his city and me with a tea palate that I have cultivated over the years. It seeps beyond from tea into other food and bevvies. So anyways, we briefly talked about how we would rock and totally dig taking that challenge.

This of course leads me back to the event I worked in Chicago a few weeks ago. The one with many fun photos of yours truly and chefs whose work I admire. There is one chef I didn’t snap a pic with named Della. Based on the restaurant she works for, you know she’s serious business. So when I saw her pumping and then slapping a lime against a grater, I became intrigued and eventually meandered over to her table to inquire into the small plate she was prepping. What resulted was nothing short of fireworks on the fourth of July for my mouth. I feverishly wrote down ingredients hoping I would get at least the pillars upon which it was built, though I know there is no adequate words to describe the combination of flavors, texture and pang of longing my tongue had when my small plate had evaporated. So here you go: Chocolate Creme with grilled nopales, a chocolate crunch aguareral foam, tequila jelly and kaffir lime zest. Did I eat three of these little plates without blushing- hell yes!

I recently unearthed my businesscard upon which I scribbled many other notable combinations from that evening and maybe a pic of the food. Salivate…………… now.

– Thai Coconut Rice Pudding with Spiced Mango Relish and Maldon Sea Salt
– Short Rib & Oxtail Dumpling Lollipops with Horseradish & Cheddar
– Celery Root Mousseline with Black Truffle Fondue & Bitter Cocoa
– Organic Farm Egg filled with English Pea Custard with Shrimp & Tomato Ragout

For those of you lucky ducks close by I am going to attempt to make the yummiest savory morsel I discovered that evening in a few weeks. Get ready for it: Mole-Braised Pork Tamales with Spicy Kumquats and Poblano Aioli. Whoa. Even typing it, I am hearing a mariachi band begin to strike up a tune. This can only be that soon I’ll be hosting a swinging soiree of the “Cinco de Mayo, a few days after” kind of party because once you taste something amazing, you want to share it, no?

All that Glitters

Go on, finish the thought. You know what comes next. I have been chewing on this question for a while and would love to hear your take:

Is there a person who is pure in heart?

Originally the topic isolated itself, pertaining solely to fame which then bled into success oozing into pride and ending in such a new rendering of the original that it could be described as diabolical. Sometimes. Is it worse for the have-nots when they experience what it is to have? I can’t imagine that we are that simple and base. And yet consider two scenarios:

POOR BRILLIANT KID WINS BIG
He just wanted to be a doctor and earn his degree from Harvard Med. He was brilliant and poor and about to come into a winning lotto ticket so to speak in the opportunity of counting cards in Las Vegas. In the beginning, we see him at MIT, young, gangly, and unsure of himself save in the area of mental acuity. But he finds himself seen as more than a geeky kid and learns to walk with a swagger in Vegas. And all of a sudden the kid who was counting cards to earn just enough for Harvard Med. is so incredibly ensconced in his new life that Harvard Med. “will work itself out” and shrugs off his old college friends. He goes from wearing undergrad Boston scruff and tumble to the sleek Vegas suits. And we have accompanied him side-seat in this roller coaster ride from poverty to power.

JANITOR TO THE BRITISH BECOMES PRESIDENT OF HIS OWN COUNTRY
He always had a way of connecting with people. It might have been his contagious laugh or perhaps the relish of saying he is one of the people, that his “troops eat before he gets a meal.” And the expectant crowd goes wild. He has wooed a young Scottish doctor and convinced him to care for him and his family as doctor to the president and first family. They swim at the pool of the luxury hotel on a regular basis, have drinks at the local club. It can’t get any better for the young doctor until he starts hearing about disappearances of people who speak out against the president. And first-hand comes to know the diseased mind of the president who has made an art out of violence replacing beauty, 300,000 scalps in the end slung around his belt of mass killings.

These are two movies both based on actual historical events. And they make me wonder about you and me- are we so different? See power does interesting things to a person. It is almost like a spell that is cast and from which comes something so thoroughly different than what went in. And it is something of which I am conscious on a daily basis, trying to ascertain how I might be a good and fair boss to two people I value greatly. It is a chalice from which I try not to drink too often because if I were to sit back and evaluate my life, I have more power than ever before. And I sometimes see the changes in rude forms. The compassion of my 20’s for the homeless has been eradicated. I have become that person I used to scorn, where it is easier to not look, not say anything than to engage in a problem I have little time to address with my whole person and life. I consider the dreams and what a better person I was back when I had less. I’m not a bad person. I make more money now than ever before and this enables me to give more away. But there is the other gnawing evidences of change of plan, of “pragmatism” sometimes in the face of vision.

Take the artist. They love their craft and the revelations that are realized as the poem is written or a fabulous aria is sung exquisitely. There is a relishing of practicing that which portrays the depths of the spirit to the external world that makes a person feel thoroughly alive and real and on adrenaline. But then comes esteem, fame, money and how does this hone the art? Does the artist relish any more? Any less? Is the act of creating less about creating and more about the audience? More about living the good life? How do artists reconcile money and power and fame from tarnishing fresh insight or molding purity into pomp?

What about learning? Can there be a place of learning for the joy of learning without also accepting the mantle of snobbery that comes with post-graduate education or initials after one’s name? An article in the New Yorker spoke about people whose sense of smell related to wine is so acute they can only be understood and fully appreciated by a few select people in their inner circle who also speak the lingo. And this had to perhaps begin at desire or passion that then becomes encumbered by the lilt and pull of their own voice and importance of its weight after a while.

Back to pride and success and power. I want to know fully how a person can withstand the white-hot poker of their call and remain pure of heart. For one of the two scenarios above, the MIT kid had everything taken from him and in a sense was able to rediscover himself through his loss. The president was sent to exile and the Scottish doctor barely escaped from a brutal execution.

Sunday morning Fred spoke about power and success in a redefining of the new community Jesus sought to bring about. He called 12 disciples to a new community, a New Covenant, akin to Moses dictating the words of God in the Old Covenant to the 12 tribes. I’m not saying Jesus and Moses are the same. Far from it, but I bring this up to merely say repetitions are important. They signify the writer’s thread stitching together fabric swatches into a quilt of unified thought. Fred is going to unpack how to address the success, the power and the source of the new community next Sunday.

I love it when a spiritual message is in sync with the thoughts traipsing in and out of my brain throughout the week. I love it when we are reminded how human, in human we are- embracing a greater sense that conquering this fell beast cannot be done alone, but with a Friend who is the Giver of gifts and the Pardoner of wrongs. Fool’s gold glitters yes, but reveals itself as pyrite to the keen eye of the appraiser.

Thursday of Yum

So far the restaurant fast is going okay. I kind of gave myself a concession today by getting lunch at the farmer’s market. The farmer’s market. Ah, this to me is such a breath of air in daytimes spent in cubicles. The weather was a warm and sunny 70 degrees. We procured our nibbles from various booths. M. always veers toward the bier sausage in a potato bread bun and I headed toward the raw food stand, selecting a slice of raw lasagna with butternut squash ribbons and sun-dried tomato tapenade. We sat and snacked on the grass watching children run around and kick a hill of pine cones. Yes, the farmer’s market will be my one delicacy and pleasure.