Tonight, I felt this strong compulsion to meditate and pray. It’s great when the word is that clear and the word tonight was “consecrate” or “set yourself apart.” In the midst of my praying my thoughts drifted to little Iz. and his terribly confusing situation of being back with his grandmother, missing his adoptive parents who have had to give him back. I was praying for him and broke out in goosebumps, thinking about the anger, the confusion, the loneliness he must be feeling of going from a family of four to a family of one. I believe naming is one of the most powerful gifts we have been given and thus at the end of my prayer looked up the name given to him at birth and discovered it means, “God is my salvation,” which was what I had been praying that his five year old self would know he’s not alone and that he is incredibly loved. I wrote a poem for him a month back, posted below. Say a prayer for Iz. if you are the praying sort and one for the mom and dad whose hearts are rent at this time. Thanks.

some call it an elephant

some call it an elephant
but i call it a boy five years
old with sea glass eyes,
hair the wind riffs golden
stalks of wheat dancing,
pale slip of a boy who falls
through cracks without trying.

(name like shattered glass, caught dagger name)

how you slept, steady rise and fall
buckled into backseat, peaceful
against my tear blocked eyes, throat
full of words i’ll never get to say-
how you wake up i can’t see this-
you, child with a heart as big as an
elephant crowd my fragile thoughts,
continue to fill this brittle room of emptiness.